Things to Know Before Dating a Chinese Woman
There is no escaping it - Chinese women are beautiful. They have an elegance and natural grace about them. Their beauty has captured many a man's heart around the globe. When we think about Chinese women as a whole, we imagine feminine, well-kept, and traditional women. Of course, this cannot be applied to every Chinese woman. After all, every person on this planet is an individual.
China has nurtured a mentality of valuing traditions. The Chinese government has made every effort to prevent cultures from the outside influencing their society. This has helped preserve old dating and marriage customs and is something you need to respect if you want a Chinese woman to see you as a potential prospect.
To get an idea of the kind of things you will need to take into account, check out the rest of the article below.
Chinese Dating Traditions
Most Chinese women have been brought up to believe in abstaining from intercourse until marriage. If a Chinese woman were to break these societal rules, they would likely be subject to a bad reputation and all that entails from a country that values traditions and commonality over individuality.
Many years ago, China closed its doors to outside influence. Only in recent years have other cultures trickled through to its people. For this reason, dating in China is a relatively new concept. The country's people have tried to maintain their traditional values.
A Chinese woman who wants to date you is not looking for a casual fling or something to pass the time. She is looking for a potential husband - one she can take home to meet her parents.
Her mother and father would have married at a young age to an auspicious match, most likely approved by their families. Chinese women today will usually wait a little longer but still need their family's approval. It is instilled in the Chinese people that the state and the family are the most important things to consider in life. Duty is of the utmost importance to a Chinese woman.
The important thing to remember when dating anyone from a different culture is that the person's beliefs must be respected. If you are not willing to compromise on anything, maybe this person isn't for you. You should discuss but never ridicule - only agree to disagree.
Tips on Dating Chinese Women
Chinese women are used to the man making the decisions. That is not to say they don't have their own ideas and opinions. It's just the way most Chinese girls are brought up. When going on a date, they will expect you to choose where and when. Have a few things planned out for the day or evening. It's good to have a few backup options as sometimes things are over more quickly than expected. You do not want to ask her to make a decision about where to go. Given her culture, it will be unexpected and may apply unnecessary pressure.
Pay for Everything on the Date
Women from China expect a man to pay for everything. This is considered the norm there. There is no grey area about who should pay. Going against the norm may make her feel a little bit insulted and that you are ungentlemanly. If you want to impress this girl on a low budget, do it with a picnic or some other cheap pursuit. Don't try and save money by going Dutch.
Honesty is Key
This one is just good advice for dating any woman. Be open and honest with your future Chinese girlfriend. Chinese women may have reservations about dating someone from a different country. Chinese people have been closed off from other cultures up until recently. Their perception of foreigners will surely have been tainted by this - you do not want to give them any more reason to distrust you.
Do NOT Criticize the Chinese Government
If a Chinese person criticizes their government, they will be sent to jail or worse. It is against the law to do so. If you bring up politics, you will make a Chinese woman feel uncomfortable. Alternatively, you will be met with opposition. China is a communist country.
Do Not Mention Japan
Unfortunately, many Japanese and Chinese people seem to have a mutual dislike of each other. For some reason, this belief is deemed perfectly acceptable. If you don't want to have to explain to someone why being racist is wrong, maybe don't mention Japan. Many Chinese people view their race as superior to others. They view other races as lower classes. Europeans are seen as the class below Chinese and others lower again. For this reason, most men from outside of China will never fully be accepted as equal. Of course, everyone is different, and hopefully, your date won't hold these views; however, it is likely that Chinese society still will - which is a shame.
Learn About Chinese Cuisine
Learning about Chinese cuisine will be a pleasure. Chinese cuisine is deemed some of the best in the world. Chinese women are traditional in terms of loving to cook for their loved ones. Most want a family that they will cook for one day, so become accomplished cooks at a young age. Many recipes are passed down through generations. A Chinese man will expect his future wife to be able to cook fabulous and well-presented meals.
If you ask your date about her cooking, it will give her the impression that you are finding out about her attributes in terms of a suitable partner. Most Chinese women want the chance to impress you as much as you want to impress them. Asking them about something they are good at gives them this opportunity.
Learn to Speak Mandarin
Mandarin is the most common language spoken in China. Learning your future partner's language will show a level of respect and courtesy. It will also show that you have an interest in their culture. It is only fair that you learn a bit of each other's languages if you wish to give as much as you get. You may find that your date speaks Cantonese, the second most commonly spoken language in China. It may help you on your Chinese dating journey to learn at least a few key phrases in each language. Communication is key to a long, meaningful relationship.
Show Her You Mean Business!
No one enjoys listening to someone boast about their achievements. That does not mean that you should not share them. Chinese women will see you as more of a prospect if you show them you are serious about your work. Did you just get a promotion? Drop it into the conversation. She will be much more likely to want to see you again. A Chinese woman is looking for someone who can provide security for herself and her future family.
Talk About Your University Experiences
If you have a few conservative yet humorous stories to tell about the university, now is the time to share them. Chinese people value education and hold those with degrees, masters, and PHDs in high esteem. Let her know what you have achieved in this field. Show her you are dedicated and intelligent without seeming pretentious, and she will surely wish to see you again.
She Wants Children
It is just as likely to find a Western girl who doesn't want children as it is to find one who does. Until you get to know a person, it is something you can't really assume. Most Chinese women do want children. They come from a country where it is expected, and they also come from a country where it is seen as bad to go against the grain. So you do not waste each other's time, children should be a subject that is brought up quickly, especially if you have decided not to have them.
Don't Get Physical Too Soon
Most Chinese women do not consider it the correct etiquette to touch too soon. The first date should involve no contact. Not even a hug or a kiss on the cheek. This may be considered too forward. The longer you wait, the more comfortable she will be with being touched. This is a bit of a tricky one because she will not make the first move. Just get to know her and use your judgment to get a sense of when she is comfortable for you to progress.
We hope you have enjoyed reading our tips on dating Chinese women. No two people from one country are truly the same. However, it is a good idea to get a glimpse of what is considered normal to a person's society, so you do not inadvertently offend them. Once you get to know this woman, you may find that she is nothing like the women we have described above. The important thing is to let her show her true self on her terms within her own boundaries.
Happy Chinese dating!