Relationship Red Flags and Deal Breakers
Relationships Red Flag List
A red flag that involves someone screaming or unloading all their baggage on a primary date is certainly something that will send an individual running immediately, but several other dating red flags are not so conspicuous.
The thing is, so often, initial signs of bad behavior can sneakily disguise themselves as sweet and thoughtful or just validation of the partner's devotion to an individual. Controlling tendencies, deception, trust issues can all be masked under the guise of flattering interest in an individual's life, desire for quality time, just plain old love and consideration. This covert facade can reveal true colors as an individual spends longer together and become more susceptible to one another. By the time an individual becomes awakened to the unhealthy reality of a relationship, emotions are involved, and the lives are intertwined to some extent.
Relationships can teach an individual tons about themselves, some things an individual wanted to understand, other things they did not. Whether one wanted individuals during a particular relationship or flesh led the way, he, above the sky, can make everything work together for an individual's good. That has the best relationships.
Relationships are complicated, so it is sensible that some so-called deal breakers should be ignored, but some quirks are such bright red flags flapping violently within the wind that they simply must be acknowledged. Whether meaning working together on a compromise or accepting that an individual is simply all wrong for an individual, here are some neon warning signs to get on the design out for.
Thus, the journey an individual absorbs relationships has the potential to strengthen their relationship with oneself and God. Individual's learn lessons about self-worth, forgiveness, and communication, just to call a couple of.
Nowhere is that this is more true than in romance. Romantic relationships can touch parts of individual's being that they did not know existed and which will be great, but which will also spell bad news.
Whether an individual is new dating or is round the block a couple of times, there are "red flags" that every person should recognize when checking out an appropriate partner.
1. Absence of religion
But let them invite faith, nothing wavering. For them, that wavering is sort of a wave of the ocean driven with the wind and tossed. Like the disciples who followed God in his day, individuals too sometimes waver in their ability to take care of faith. However, there is a crucial difference between trying to take care of faith that is present versus having no faith in the least. Christians live consistent with their religion. Dating outside of the religion means taking two completely different lifestyles and merging them, emphasis on completely different. If God is that the center of our lives, who or what is the middle of theirs? Individuals should not look down upon others for not having faith as others do. But, to expect them to measure as an individual once they do not share an equivalent faith as it is not an honest idea.
2. Spirit of Fear
There is no fear in love, and instead, perfect love drives out fear because fear involves punishment. Therefore the one who fears is not completely crazy. Individuals know firsthand how difficult dating someone who lives with fear is often. They can also be that person. Fear, i.e., also mentioned as "False Evidence Appearing Real," breeds insecurity for both people within the relationship. Do not get it wrong; relationships are often scary. After all, one cannot help but ask God and themselves numerous questions. Are they an honest fit in the long term, and how are they able to be sure? These questions are natural and sometimes hard to answer with absolute certainty.
Whether the fear is due to childhood traumas, past relationships, or other reasons, working through fear will improve the connection. On the contrary, those that prefer to hold on to fear are bound to strain the connection to its doom. No one can love the opposite person wholly while still holding on to fear.
3. One only hang around at their home
It may seem that the new beau just loves spending time with their partners at their home and cannot get enough of them, but there might be something more thereto; perhaps they are hiding something. Relationships are all about to give and take, depending on the situation that can include roommates, space, location, etc. It is natural that an individual simply may find themselves spending longer at one person's home. It does not mean, however, that an individual simply should not ever see the house of the person they are with.
If an individual is worried that the spouse never suggests his or her place, to the only hell for leather, ask and suggest getting to their place next time. If they keep off, be upfront together with fears and reservations, and ask point-blank if there is something they are hiding or ashamed of. Accompany confidence on this, and it will not lead an astray.
4. Lack of affection
The second is like it, and loving neighbors as oneself is good. Love others as an individual is keen on themselves. Too often in relationships, an individual forgets to like the opposite person as an individual is. For some, they do not love the opposite, even a fraction of what proportion they love themselves. One thing an individual learns there in a college relationship is that one simply need to love themselves before they can love another. Without knowing their own worth, one cannot know what they deserve from people. Furthermore, an individual should not know what one will or should offer others during a relationship.
Once an individual is keen on themselves, they will better determine whether or not somebody else loves them, too. Trust, once an individual recognizes love, the difference is going to be night and day.
Their drive is far higher or less
There is no wrong amount of sensual lovemaking to possess or not have in life, but it is important that an individual simply and their partner have an identical libido or, at the very least, an idea to handle any differences. What if one partner's vision of a perfect intercourse life is getting it on nearly nightly, while the opposite is content with having intercourse just a couple of times a month? When one partner is consistently initiating lovemaking, and therefore the other is not within the mood fairly often, an individual is certainly a world of crushed egos, hurt feelings, emotional pressure, and resentment from each side.
The partner is Jealous
Everyone gets jealous from time to time, and in some circumstances, jealousy can even be an honest thing. For instance, if an individual's partner features a platonic friend who was constantly flirting together with them or behaving in a way that made you are feeling disrespected, the jealousy may motivate an individual to possess a conversation together with the partner about what an individual think about appropriate and inappropriate friend behavior.
It can assist one to create healthy boundaries during a relationship and improve communication.
Unhealthy jealousy may be a sort of jealousy that happens when the partner becomes irrationally jealous, to the purpose that they:
Want to regulate an individual
Want to understand a play-by-play of everything the partner is doing
Do not want to spend time anywhere or with anyone without them
Constantly accuse or suspect the partner for cheating
Ask an individual to behave in certain ways which they deem acceptable
Gets jealous of any partner's friendships and should even demand that one simply only be friends with other person
Constantly calls and texts and becomes angered if the partner do not immediately respond
The more developed an individual is in God, the higher of a partner one will make during a relationship. Know that an individual offers the simplest tool for self-improvement. Throughout an individual's journey with the partner and a couple of others, one trait an individual even has come to value is being teachable. An individual comes willing to find out and strive for improvement, always. No person one date is ideal. There is not a prince or princess from a fairytale who goes so far and marries the one. This is the important word, and that all the persons are all sinners. And that is okay. One needs to be loved and needs a blessing with an excellent partner.
Marriage Deal Breakers
A deal-breaker, on the other hand, can be deeper than a red flag. It is most times a trait that outweighs all the good in a partner. It should not be ignored when noticed in a relationship.
1. When your guts say no
Before looking out to discover if your partner has some traits that could be a deal-breaker, there is a way you could know for yourself. Ever experienced a situation in which someone or something seemed perfect, but you had this unsettling feeling that some pieces don't match up no matter how hard you tried to put them together? In the end, it turned out to be just as your mind "told you" it would be. That's the power of instincts. Trust your instincts, as they are always right.
If you have this natural feeling that something isn't right, then it definitely isn't. You shouldn't have to lose your peace because you are in a relationship. Always seek to listen to the inner voice of your mind, which tells you something is wrong even when everything seems rosy. It would save you from potential heartbreaks in the future.
2. Keeping the relationship a secret
This may occur when your partner deliberately does things to keep the relationship away from public knowledge. It means they don't take the relationship seriously and could decide to leave at any moment since they are not accountable to anyone (close friends, family members) related to you. Signs of a secret relationship include but are not limited to:
Seeing each other in dark and lonely places only,
Not being able to disclose the relationship clearly for what it truly is to other people (claiming friendship when there's more),
Always going for dates in places where no one knows both partners,
Denying the partner in public when anyone tries to find out what is going on between the parties involved.
3. Difference in way of life
They say unlike poles attract and like poles repel. That may be true at a superficial level, but as things get deeper, you want someone who shares the same views as yours. When there is no agreement on issues because you both want different things, it is an indication of a red flag. Variety is the spice of life; no doubt, the world would be boring if everyone had the same belief system, thought pattern, etc. The goal is for partners though different in some ways, to have a common ground. In situations whereby partners have strong opposite opinions about issues, it could be a deal-breaker in a relationship. For example, issues such as whether or not to have children, relocation to another city or country, etc.
There is nothing more hurtful than been deceived by someone you love the most- your partner. If all your partner has been feeding you with are all lies, then it is a red flag you shouldn't ignore. No one is perfect; of course, we are all trying to become better versions of ourselves. When your partner lies or keeps vital information away from you, it is something to be worried about. If a partner can confidently look into your face and lie about matters, or use another lie to cover up an existing lie without flinching, then such a partner shouldn't be trusted.
Dating experts affirm that there is a percentage of jealousy that is considered healthy for every relationship. However, it becomes unhealthy when it is overdone. Jealousy could lead to insecurity which makes a partner suspicious and paranoid. It could take various forms, which include:
Discouraging a partner from taking up positions that would make them more successful.
Tracking every move of a partner without their knowledge.
Anger is displayed by a partner whenever the other party is with a friend of the opposite sex.
Requesting for social media passwords of your partner to read their chats and monitor them.
6. Lack of acceptance by family or friends
We all want our significant other to be loved and accepted by the people we hold dear to us (for example, family and friends). There could be an indication of a red flag when no one supports the relationship. It is usually a difficult situation when you are in love, but everyone else feels that the relationship isn't right for you. I mean, you both are in love, and that's all that matters, right? It is necessary for you to find out why they don't want you together- maybe you deserve better than that. Love is blind, objectively seeing things would ensure clarity. There may be some character flaws you cannot see because you are in love. When the closest people around, you find it hard to accept the relationship, then there is something wrong somewhere.
Abuse can take different forms, which include verbal, physical, emotional/psychological, and even sexual, as the case may be. This is a broad subject which cannot be exhausted. When your partner makes you feel less of a person by their actions and inactions, it is a major deal-breaker. Psychologists affirm that abused people abuse other people. Any abuse, even in its lightest forms, should be frowned at. Examples include the following:
Verbal- inappropriately making use of words against a partner.
Physical- causing bodily harm to a partner.
Emotional/Psychological- blackmailing and/or messing with a partner's feelings and mind.
Sexual- engaging in sexual activities without the approval of a partner.
8. Stinginess/ Non-sacrificial
It becomes an issue when your partner withholds resources that would be of great importance to the relationship. It is not an obligation but to love is to give. When a partner doesn't see a need to share time, money, and other resources in a relationship, then it could be a deal-breaker. Compromise is an essential element in every relationship. Doing things that would make the other party happy (which doesn't negate your values) improves the overall health of the relationship. If you notice that you are the only one who makes compromises while the other party is stingy, then that could be a major deal-breaker in the relationship.
9. Lack of communication
Effective communication is necessary for every relationship to thrive. Communication can take different forms as technology has made life easier for all. There should be no excuse for lack of communication between partners. No one is so busy creating time for the people they love. When communication dwindles in a relationship, there is something definitely wrong. An obvious sign of people in love is to communicate most of the time. It becomes a norm to share how their day went, thoughts, and feelings with each other. If your partner ghosts you for days, even weeks, and return whenever they feel like, that is a red flag screaming at you. If you notice that your partner contacts you only when they need a favor from you, then it's a bad signal.
This could be very frustrating as you have no idea of what your partner actually wants. It is a problem when one isn't able to make decisions and stand by them. When this a recurring experience in a relationship, it could be a deal-breaker. Attributes of an indecisive partner include:
Canceling appointments at the last minute.
Easily swayed by the opinion of other people.
Seeking validation from the third party before taking a stand.
Not having a mind of their own.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the red flags and deal breakers in a relationship?
What counts as a red flag and deal-breaker to you may not be the same for another person. The examples given above are red flags/ deal-breakers to take note of. They are not limited to the ones explained here. They are basically anything harmful to the health of a relationship.
What can I do after discovering red flags and deal breakers in a relationship?
It's a great thing that you could actually notice the presence of the red flags and deal-breakers. It is a pointer that you are interested in making the relationship a better one. The first step to take is to discuss the red flags/deal breakers with your partner. Take note if your partner is willing to change and do better in the future. If your partner admits that they are wrong and would like to get help wherever possible, then it is a good sign. However, if the partner isn't willing to adjust where and when necessary, then it is better to call it quits. It may be a difficult decision due to the energy invested in the relationship, but it is for the greater good. You would eventually find someone better who is more deserving of you.