15 Questions for Couples Who Want to Know Each Other Better

There are no real universal rules in a relationship. Every person on this planet has different wants and wishes. That includes the other person in your relationship. In the early stages of romance, it may be difficult to ask what your person wants to do in their life without sounding like you are thinking of marrying them.

We have come up with some random relationship questions to covertly find out if you are compatible and generally get to know each other as well as you can. Do your plans and beliefs align? Will you be able to compromise? The answers to these questions aren’t a concrete indicator of what your future will hold. However, they are a great tool or breaking down barriers and taking your relationship to the next level of intimacy.

Want to know more? Try our love questionnaire for couples now!

Thought-provoking Questions to Ask a New Lover

  1. Do you believe marriage can work?

    The wording of this question is very important. It is asked in a way that does not suggest that you definitely want to get married to the person in front of you. Sometimes a person’s answer can be influenced by what the other person believes or wants. This will encourage an honest answer. It will also encourage a good debate and many shared stories.

  2. Do you think that there are too many children without homes and people should adopt rather than have children?

    This is a question you can ask no matter your thoughts on the adoption process. Get into the habit of wording questions in a way that does not put pressure or judgment on your partner. This example does not suggest you are planning on having children or not having children. Therefore, you won’t subconsciously try to influence your partner’s answer. You can share your genuine thoughts once they have answered. It is important to be on the same page when it comes to wanting children. These unspoken differences can destroy a relationship eventually.

  3. Do you believe in socialism?

    It is not always imperative to have the same political beliefs, but if you are a staunchly left-wing, your beliefs or moral compass might not align with someone who is strictly conservative. This question allows you to discuss your political beliefs without getting into the nitty-gritty of political candidates and tribalism. Opening up this avenue of conversation allows you to both express your opinions on the matter. Maybe you can change each other's mind. Maybe you will need to explain what socialism is to them. Maybe you both whole-heartedly agree on the exact same issues, and you’re meant to be together forever!

  4. What do you do in your life that helps others?

    This might seem like you are setting someone up for failure. If you really think about it, we all help someone in some way. If your other half is a saint and works in a soup kitchen, they will really enjoy letting you know. If they find it difficult to answer, you can swoop in with a lovely compliment like, “you help me live a better life. You make me happy.” Make sure you have thought about your own answer first. Maybe you can makes plans to do something good together.

Great Questions to Ask New Relationship Partners

  1. What music speaks to your soul?

    Everyone has different tastes when it comes to music preferences. There is no correct or incorrect answer here. This is a wonderful way of getting into your partner's mind. Every time you listen to their song, you will think of them. They might introduce you to some great music. It always feels good to introduce someone else to new tunes, especially when they grow to love them.

  2. Would you rather live in the city or the countryside?

    Is your dream to settle down in the country in your old age? If your partner is high maintenance who couldn’t live without a coffee, now is the time to find out. People can change over time, and there is always a compromise to be made… if the person is worth said compromise. Don’t feel obliged to talk about your future together here. You can gather a lot of info about compatibility without making concrete plans.

  3. What would your perfect day entail?

    Find out what your partner enjoys doing the most and help them achieve it. Doing nice things for each other is what keeps a relationship strong. Find out if they are more introverted or extroverted. Discover whether they place more value on nature over comfort. This is also a great way to come up with new and exciting date ideas

  4. What are your thoughts about a great creator God?

    It is one of the biggest questions you could ask. Is there a god? Maybe you are an atheist. Maybe you are both religious. Maybe you believe that you can’t trust something written in a book by men but believe that there is some kind of creator we could never comprehend. Expect a long and deep conversation with this one. It will be a good test of how respectful someone is if they disagree with you.

  5. What couldn’t you live without?

    If we’re being realistic, we could all live with clean water, food, shelter, and company. This is more of a fun question about the things in life that make us happy. Discover what they value most in their day-to-day life.

Good Questions to Ask in a New Relationship

  1. What would you change about your life?

    No one’s life is perfect, and we should always be aiming for self-improvement. This will lead to conversations about life goals and where your partner see themselves in the future. Do your aspirations match? Maybe they have aspirations that are different to yours but that you totally admire. Perhaps the changes that they wish to make are doable, and this conversation will motivate them to take the first step. It might convince you to make a positive change too.

  2. What are you proud of?

    I am proud if I’m having a bad day and I still manage to get all my work done. Someone else is proud that they created a multimillion-dollar business off their own back. We all have different standards for things which make us feel pride. The important thing here is that someone feeling proud of themselves is good. Let your partner know that this is not a judgmental question and all feelings of pride are valid. If someone struggles to answer, it is a great opportunity for you to make them feel good. Are you proud that they have chosen to be with you? Let them know.

  3. When did you last get angry?

    Anger is often something that people try to hide at the beginning of a relationship. This understandable – anger never paints us in the best light. It is a feeling which nobody enjoys. It is something which makes us feel shame. Be ready to admit when you were last angry. Find out what makes your partner angry and judge how they negatively react to certain stressors. No one is perfect. If you can both open up about this subject, you will become closer.

  4. Are you close to your family?

    If you are looking at the long term, it is probable that you will need to get to know your partner’s family. You might feel less nervous about meeting them if you get to know a bit about them beforehand. Any childhood trauma or poor family relationships are bound to affect your partner. It’s important to know about these things so you can support them.

  5. Can you describe your best friend?

    His or her best friend will tell you what they value in a person. Their friend has been there longer than you. It will be important to start on good terms with them. Getting to know a bit about them will help. You don’t need to be friends with their friends for a successful relationship. However, you do need to be amicable, and finding common ground is a great way to get off on the right foot.

  6. How would you describe me?

    See how he or she sees you. You should feel beautiful and valued by the end of this conversation. It gives you a chance to do the same. Sometimes people don’t say the lovely things they are thinking about you. Compliments don’t always leave our lips easily. But that does not mean they should not be said. They are always good to hear. Let the positivity sink in. Happy people who feel cherished usually make the best partners.

We hope we have given you food for thought in terms of things to ask in a new relationship. Hopefully, we’ve inspired you to think of other topics as well. Got some suggestions? Let us know!

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