How to Deal With a Break in a Relationship
It's no longer new to anyone that every relationship swings- it has both good and bad moments. When the good moments come, both parties are happy, and they both enjoy themselves to the fullest. However, when the opposite sets in, the relationship is expected to witness a drawback. The drawback could come in the form of a break (aka relationship break) or separation.
When there is a relationship break, it means both parties leave each other for a while and then come back together after settling the issue and then reaching a compromise. Separation, on the other hand, is where you and your partner part ways and never wish to come back. Here we will focus on the former, which is taking a break from a relationship.
Taking a break in a relationship is hard, but parting ways with your partner (breakup) is harder, especially when it's a long-term relationship. A choose your hard. This section will focus on how you can deal with a break in a relationship. But before we dive into that, let's discuss the effect.
Do I Need a Break from my Boyfriend?
Oftentimes, I receive calls and text messages from ladies seeking advice on whether or not they should take a break from their relationship. Well, before giving a response, I do ask certain questions:
What challenges are you faced with in your relationship presently that made you think you need a break from your man?
Do you still love your boyfriend?
80% of the response obtained from this survey has helped me map out at least 5 reasons why a break is needed in a relationship.
In a relationship, both partners are supposed to enjoy one another’s company. But in a situation where one party or both feel unsatisfied despite the nice things they do together, then a break is needed. For instance, you find watching Netflix boring when your partner is around you, or he cracks jokes that bore you. However, both parties must still have feelings for each other, as in ‘LOVE’. Should in case the feelings are gone or one-sided, then you need to part ways.
2. The Feelings Ain't Real
Feelings are what draw you closer to an object. The moment it starts fading, it's imperative that you take a break to save the relationship. When you notice you don't have any kind of feelings towards your boyfriend, you should consider taking a break. This would help you confirm whether or not you only need to create time for yourself or you need to move on.
3. Your Boyfriend Ain't Sexually Attracted to you
It's fine to find other persons you see as attractive, but then this shouldn't affect your relationship with the guy or girl you are in a relationship with. Your sexual desire should be fulfilled by only one person, and that's your partner. The moment when you start having sexual feelings for another person who you ain't dating, then your relationship is about to crumble. And when it does, you will have to part ways with your partner.
4. Your Partner is too Attached
Clinginess is often observed at the first stage of every relationship, especially the romantic relationship type. However, when this is persistent such that your partner controls your schedule and you don't have a breathing space, then you should consider taking a break. Taking a break would help you shape your partner, so they don't get too attached. But when he doesn't stop, you could consider breaking up with him for safety reasons.
5. You Hope your Partner Would Change
Hoping that your partner would change is one of the wishes of every individual in a relationship. They want their partner to turn a new leaf which is cool; however, this would always take a tremendous effort and time to accomplish, especially when it's an internal quality like traits or personalities. But when it’s an external quality like getting a new job or launching a business, it's quite an easy task. Although both qualities are beneficial to the relationship, the former (internal quality) often leads to breakups. However, for the external quality, if you consider giving your partner space (take a break) to focus so he or she could achieve your set dream and your relationship bond would become stronger.
And now that you have the reasons for taking a break, what's your decision regarding your relationship? Do you think it is worthwhile taking a break? If your answer is yes, then how do you accomplish this?
How to Take a Break When you are in a Relationship
Taking a break from your partner is a decision you must have thought of overtime, and once you’ve finalized, you have to take action. To do this, select a date and location to discuss this with your partner. When the D-day comes, let your partner know that you are sick of the relationship at the moment but don't want to lose him or her. And the best way for you to achieve this is by taking a break. However, you have to bear in mind that this will cause a misunderstanding between the both of you and might, of course, lead to a breakup. But if your partner does understand, they will give you a chance and then wait for you to come back. Mind you, don't exceed the threshold time scheduled for the break to last. Once the agreed date is reached, get back to your relationship immediately as delay could lead to a breakup.
So now to the big story; how to deal with a break in a relationship. At the time when you decide to distance yourself from your partner (take a break), you need to own your power. By owning your power, I mean you should control your emotions so you can gather new facts about your relationship, partner, and yourself. Although owning your power can be quite challenging, here are 3 simple tips to help you out:
Put yourself first:
When you take a break from your relationship, it's imperative you take good care of yourself- try to be as innovative as possible, rest well, and party as you like (in case you love clubbing). Don't brood over time you have been together; rather, be optimistic about being the best version of yourself. Speak positively about yourself at this time. Remember taking a break from your loved ones is never a walk in the park.
Try to socialize
Whether you are an introvert or not, socializing during a break from a relationship is helpful as it helps you get over what bothers you about your relationship. You should try to cheer yourself up with friends and family by socializing. Live in the moment and create lasting memories every single day with your friends and co-workers.
There is no doubt that when you take a break from a relationship, you become weak both emotionally and physically. You tend to lose shape and confidence. However, when you engage in physical activities like exercising often, you could recover from this. FYI, experts confirmed that physical activities release feel-good hormones that improve your emotions.
With the 3 tips given above, you can overcome any challenges faced in a relationship, whether relationship break or breakup. However, the tips are a perfect fit for a relationship break. On employing these tips, you should set a date to revisit your relationship as you only planned to take a break and not to break up (separate) from your partner. Mind you, the experience gathered from the break should help you build a stronger relationship as both parties must have returned with better investment than they left. In case there is no positive result, then you should walk away and get a better person for yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
Check below; you will find a few extended knowledge questions and answers that will help you understand the effect of a break in a relationship:
Is Taking a Break in a Relationship Good or Bad?
Well, this is a two-way answer question- it could be good and /or bad. Taking a break from a relationship is good when both parties understand each other. But in a situation where you with your partner did not reach a compromise, suggesting a break will ruin the relationship.
How to take a break when you live together?
When you live together with your partner underneath the same roof, taking a break is never a walk in the park. But here are some advice that would help you:
Discuss the break in person with your partner
Set some ground rules which must be followed by both parties
Ensure that the break impacts positively
Although there is no perfect relationship, you could work towards this with your partner. Try to understand one another and never promise anything. Remember, promises create expectations which in turn is believed to be the beginning of misery.