How to Start a Conversation on a Dating App

Sending the first message on a romance service is difficult. Finding the perfect words may feel impossible. Understanding the psychology behind the first message can provide the inspiration needed to make your date interested in you. Following the guidelines issued in this article will help you construct the best first message and start chatting with your date.

Good conversation starters on dating sites come down to planning and practical steps. That means you must learn both how to physically use a dating service to start a chat and know how to create an interesting atmosphere for your conversations.

Reviewing both these elements will allow you to craft eloquent beginnings to your messages that will prompt responses from the viewers. What else can learning this skill do for you, though?

  1. You can reach out to more people

  2. Dialogues will become more informative than awkward

  3. Good openings to chat messages result in more responses

  4. You will have more enthusiastic dialogues

  5. Experience frequent dates

These justifications for learning how to talk online will give you all the required tools to make the first move. Knowing why this skill is so valuable, it is time to learn the smaller concepts comprising proper online chats.

Starting a Conversation on Match

The best way to initiate conversation online when dating is by examining the process from an outsider's perspective and then looking at what messages to send. Let's start by looking at the beginning process and then work our way toward sending messages.

How to Navigate Romance Sites

Typically, a dating service is designed to be navigable to people of all ages and skill levels. You must learn how to use the available tools to converse with individuals using the service. That requires identifying several key features. Use these steps to figure out how to say hello:

  1. Find the message center on the website;

  2. Determine if the service differentiates between Instant Messages (IMs) and Private Messages (PMs):

  3. Often, Private Messages are akin to emails; Instant Messages are an open, instant chat;

  4. Focus on learning the mechanics of PMs. These are transmissions sent that will be opened later, and they allow you to formulate complex missives before sending them out to an individual;

  5. Learn the maximum length of your PMs; some sites only give you 200 words or fewer;

  6. Determine how to send your communique. Will accidentally hitting enter send it, or must a specific button be pressed on the interface?

Knowing the basics of navigating a website's chats is crucial to reaching out to members of the website. This knowledge can prevent you from sending messages by accident and disrupting an otherwise well-crafted introduction.

Getting to Know Your Date

Knowing how to communicate on the site is very important, but you must also remember to take proactive steps to start your romantic escapades. Specifically, learning about your date is the single best way to help you formulate great messages to garner interest from your partner. Check out this method for moving forward with your dating app PMs.

1. Spend time on their profile.

The best way to learn about someone is to see what they say about themselves. Their online dating profile is completely devised by the author. Most people are honest about their likes and dislikes, and you can utilize that knowledge to craft a great opener.

2. Take note of what you have in common.

Perusing their profile, you should spend time picking out things you have in common. Are you both introverted? Do you like adventure? Do you share the same religious beliefs? Each of these is defining the elements of an individual's personality. By looking for the things you have in common, it will be easier to craft an introduction to that person by relying on shared likes and dislikes.

3. Pick topics to avoid.

Every person has dislikes. As you look through your potential date's profile, their dislikes will become apparent. These topics are things you should avoid unless asked about directly. Typically, they will only lead to unpleasantness.

4. Learn when to move on.

Most people have found someone attractive and later discovered their personalities do not mesh well. Using the information from a member's profile, it is possible to learn whether you have enough in common or not rather quickly. If your match is not someone that has enough in common with you, then it is necessary to move on to other potential dates.

Knowing more about your date will help you craft the perfect opening to your messages. With this knowledge, you should scan someone's profile and know exactly which points to bring up and which ones to avoid.

Great Conversation Starters for Online Dating

Now that you are well-versed in the basics of recognizing valuable information in someone's dating profile, it is time to get down to the important parts. Specifically, we will examine conversation starters for dating websites along with what you should do and not do online. Take this information and apply it to your future conversations to get amazing results from your digital romances.

Starting the Conversation

Beginning the messaging process is easy and uses many of the concepts previously explored. Take time to refresh yourself with this list of ways to interact with someone online.

1. Take a look at their profile to establish familiarity.

You should already know how to do this from the last section.

2. Craft the message and re-read it.

Bad grammar is a major turn-off for educated people.

3. Send the message with an icebreaker.

An icebreaker is a way of saying hello to someone to get through that initial awkward phase of the meeting. We'll review these in more detail soon.

4. Wait for a response rather than message-bombing your date.

Send one message and then wait for them to make the next move. Never send repeated messages.

Now the conversation is started, but what do you want to say?

Conversation Starters

How can you start an interesting dialogue with someone? We're going to show you how you can attract someone and maintain their attention.

1. Try something out of the ordinary based on their profile information.

Example: Hey, I see you went skiing in Colorado. I've been there, too! What's your favorite slope?

2. Ask a question.

As you can see from the last example, asking a question is a good idea. People love to talk about themselves, and asking a question invites them to do just that. Make sure you leave the question open-ended. If you give them a "yes" or "no" question, that's the only answer you're going to get.

3. Follow up.

After the answer, make sure to follow up.

"I liked the slopes in Aspen." "Oh, cool. I've never been. What did you like about them?"

Keep your partner talking and learn more. Gain their interest and trust.

After the first exchange, you must change topics into the reason why they're on the site. You have their interest, and now it is time to see if there is a spark. You are not on a dating service to make friends, after all.

4. Ask them out.

When you have the momentum going, you have to ask them out on a date. You can do something online with each other, or you may try to meet up with one another face-to-face if you live close enough.

These are the tips you need to get started and keep your relationship going in the digital realm.

Important Do's and Don'ts

While you're looking for different ways to get the conversation going, you should remember things you need to do and things you need to avoid. Specifically, you should remember:


  • Ask questions
  • Respond to messages quickly
  • Move on from people that are not interested in you
  • Ask her out
  • Be yourself
  • Have fun


  • Be demanding
  • Comment on their body in the first few messages
  • Use one-word introductions
  • Ignore your conversations for a long time

Make sure you avoid the pitfalls of these particular elements, and you will have an easy time talking to your partner online. Starting a romantic interaction is not always simple, but you have the knowledge of what you should and should not do when making the first move.

Online romances are becoming increasingly common in the present day. As such, you should learn how to approach the digital dates that people are hosting on the web. Learn how you can attract people and keep them interested in you, and you'll have no problems keeping them on the hook.

Remember that you can do things that will bring someone closer to you or inadvertently push them away. With that mindset, you must focus on doing the right things to keep the conversation moving forward.

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