Would You Date Someone with Cold Sores and Herpes?

Dating with cold sores or dating someone with herpes can be a bit confusing because you know you will eventually contract the virus. It is usually hard to tell if someone is already infected, and you may end up falling in love and dating someone with genital herpes. But, if you know you love someone, would you just stop doing so because they are dealing with a medical condition?

Many stigmas are indeed attached to sexually transmitted infections, and herpes is probably among the most stigmatized. This misinformation that causes stigma comes from jokes in movies and TV shows, as they make it look like a terrifying diagnosis. The stigma makes finding love with herpes an extremely difficult task.

Before you jump to conclusions, you should educate yourself a little about this condition. The condition is caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV), which can be of two types HSV-1 and HSV-2. It basically refers to genital herpes, which HSV-2 causes, but you may also develop cold sores, which HSV-1 causes. However, either form of the virus can affect the mouth or genitals. The infection spreads through sexual contact, even when you are wearing condoms or using other barrier methods. You get it when you come into contact with those sores, which could be on the thighs, buttocks, or other areas not protected through barrier use.

It is very hard not to absorb the negativity associated with those who receive a diagnosis. If you get it yourself, you are likely to feel ashamed and depressed. It is also natural to deal with bleak moments when you have your first outbreak, and you may spend a lot of your time tackling grim thoughts about your dating life. A genital herpes diagnosis can indeed alter your life in many ways, but you can still manage things if you stay honest about it and know how to have a conversation with every new partner. Medications will always be there to help control your outbreaks, but do not expect any cure to be out any time soon. So, you need to be with someone who understands what it means to date someone dealing with this condition.

Similarly, you should understand that you are not doing anything very risky when dating someone with herpes. You can always take precautions so long as your partner explains it in advance. They do not have to end their sex life just because of herpes because there are ways you can adapt to spend quality time together.

You need to be able to see past their diagnosis and notice the real person who is worthy of love and affection.

You need to understand that herpes is nothing more than a skin condition at the end of the day. Your partner might have sores now, but they may not have it again for months. Sometimes, those sores just never appear again. Even if they are sores right now, expect them to go away before long. You just need to plan things better to work your way around those outbreaks, and you can enjoy being with someone you love, irrespective of their skin condition.

Managing Herpes and Dating a Partner with Herpes

HSV2 dating can certainly be challenging, and you might feel tempted to let go of your relationship with someone who has just received a herpes diagnosis. Why would you want to risk it by dating someone with HSV? Well, that is definitely the first thought that appears in your mind, but the truth is that you do not need to walk out of a relationship or lose a good person just because of this skin condition.

You need to stay positive when dating someone with herpes. With the combination of conversation, medication, and understanding, it is possible to enjoy normal romantic relationships. So many people think their dating life is over because they have genital herpes, and though it is a normal reaction, it is not true. If you dig deeper, you will realize that dating someone with genital herpes is never as big of a deal as many people think.

The most important thing to understand about HSV1 dating is that the condition won't affect everyone the same way. So many people with this infection do not experience any symptoms at all. Others might experience very mild symptoms that often go completely unnoticed. You just need to maintain an open line of communication with your partner. They need to be honest about their herpes outbreaks, so both of you could precede with caution during that time. The use of modern antiviral medications has also made it easier to treat genital herpes and limit the time of an outbreak. It means you can continue to date someone who may be infected but know how to manage their symptoms and outbreak more efficiently.

The fact of the matter is that there is no need to stop dating someone with HSV1 so long as they are willing to work out a better way to stay together. Transparency is important because it helps build trust. There are tactics to follow to gently break the news to your new partner and try tips to be safe while engaging in traditional intercourse.

Tips to Lower Risk When Dating Someone with HSV1

You do not have to feel bad about loving someone with herpes. With modern antiviral medications, it is very much possible to manage this skin condition better. But, if you already have this condition, you can consider finding a partner with herpes using online dating sites. You will never have to have those awkward moments of disclosing you have this condition to a new partner this way.

However, if you do not have herpes and your partner does, you may want to try many tips to reduce your transmission risk. Many herpes blog sites are packed with informative resources that turn you into a better person when being in a relationship with someone with HSV1 or HSV2. Here are a few points to keep in mind:

  • Be sure to discuss everything with your doctor and follow whatever tips they offer. You should also encourage your partner to talk to a doctor and use antiviral medications. Those medications work well when taken at a suppressive therapy dose. Regular intake would lower your partner's risk of transmitting genital herpes.
  • Always be sure to use the best protection. You can opt for dental dams, wear condoms, and opt for other barrier contraceptives. Ask your infected partner to try those barriers as well, as your ultimate goal is to limit skin contact that is likely to occur during intercourse.
  • Be sure to communicate with your partner and give them the confidence to be open about their outbreaks. If your partner is currently experiencing an outbreak, it is best to avoid engaging in sexual activities. Even when you take precautionary measures, you are at a high risk of contracting the virus when there are sores.
  • By following the right approach, you can always help lower your risk of contracting the infection. But, you need to understand that even if you take all the steps, there is still some risk of becoming infected. Go ahead only if you are willing to accept the risk.

Common Myths about Dating Someone with HSV2

Dating someone with herpes simplex 2 takes special effort because the virus is here to stay. You will have to learn and respect your limitations and understand how to manage everything around new breakouts. Because there is a lot of shame and fear surrounding the condition, it is natural to find so many myths circulating in society at the same time. In reality, dating with HSV1 genital infected person does not have to be very difficult if you often communicate appropriately. Nevertheless, it is important to educate yourself about many misconceptions about dating somebody with herpes. For instance:

  • You and your partner are alone in this is one of the biggest misconceptions. The truth is that one out of every eight individuals in the US has HSV-2, whereas an even greater number of adults have HSV-1. You can also contract it through non-sexual situations, simply by receiving a kiss from someone you know.
  • Another common misconception is that only promiscuous people become infected. It is a sexually transmitted infection, so it is natural to think that someone has contracted the virus by engaging in sexual activity. The truth is that you can get it even in a monogamous relationship, as the other person may not know about it because their infection is asymptomatic – that is, there are no white blisters, red bumps, itching, or pain. Therefore, polyamorous or promiscuous people are not the only ones at a greater risk. The virus is the most infectious before, during, and right after an outbreak, but "silent shedding" is possible.
  • You are no longer fit to have sex is yet another common misconception. Yes, there is no cure, but you can engage in sexual activity with your partner when they are not experiencing an outbreak. Certain medications help make a flare-up more manageable and lower your risk of transmitting the virus to your partner. Being in a relationship with someone honest about their condition is usually much better than picking a random partner who has no clue about their infection and transfers it to you unknowingly. At least, you can take precautions and use protection when engaging in sexual activity with someone who is being honest with you. Having productive conversations is the key here.

It all boils down to the fact that dating someone with herpes should not be as scary as you might think. In fact, you need to be sympathetic towards your partner who reveals a new diagnosis. You need to realize how hard it is for them to cope with the situation, and your reaction is only going to complicate the situation. You should be there to console them and make them understand that they are rarely going to face any long-term health issues because of their infection. If you love your partner who is currently having their first genital herpes outbreak, your support matters a lot because it can be a very uncomfortable experience.

Remember, it always helps to be compassionate toward your partner to enjoy being in a relationship. But, in the end, it is your choice how you decide to cope with the news, but be kind and do not stigmatize anyone for having herpes, as it is never a scarlet letter for bad behavior. It is just a virus, and so many dating with herpes blog sites can help you learn how to manage it well.

Check out related articles: