What to Say on First Dates
It’s hard to actually figure out the right things to discuss on a date your first time out. You’ll definitely be trying extremely hard to impress your date, & unfortunately, you only make a first impression once. It always becomes more challenging if you’re on a blind date; you definitely want to keep the conversation interesting without running the risk of boring (or worse, offending) your date. So, what do people talk about on dates? If you’ve been wondering what to talk about on a first date with a girl, then read on!
Good Topics to Talk About on the First Date
There are actually many topics to talk about on a date. Beyond basic introductions, it’s definitely important to know what things to say on the first date. If you’re unsure (& you say the wrong thing), then your great night can quickly take an unfortunate turn for the worse. Here are ten good things to talk about on a first date.
What they do for work. If you don’t already know what your date actually does, now is definitely the perfect time to ask. It’s extremely important you know what they do for work because if you do something directly at odds (ex. a defense attorney & a prosecutor), that certainly may be a sign that the relationship won’t work. It’s definitely important to weed out any conflicts of interest right off the bat, making work one of the best things to talk about on a first date.
What they do for fun. You actually might have enjoyable mutual hobbies. If so, great! You already have a bunch of fun things to talk about on a date in the future. If not, that’s certainly OK too. As long as you always share at least a few mutual interests, you’ll have plenty to teach each other (making future conversations both interesting & educational).
Favorite movies or shows. Movies & TV shows are definitely some of the easiest things to speak about on a date. As an added bonus, they actually tell you a lot about the person. While girls & guys certainly don’t always watch the same types of visual content, chances are you definitely share at least a few mutual shows (or movies) you find enjoyable. When in doubt, you can always talk about movies!
What they find funny (& what they don’t). Sharing the same sense of humor is very important—definitely one of the things to talk about on a date with a girl. If you have a very dark sense of humor, but she doesn’t (or vice versa), you’ll either always have to closely watch your tongue all the time or (unfortunately) keep your jokes to yourself. This is actually a great way to accurately gauge your relationship expectations moving forward.
Childhood dreams. Always tell them what you always wanted to be as a child. After all, if you don’t bring it up now, your parents surely will when they finally meet your beautiful date. Actually, sharing your childhood dreams (no matter how stupid or embarrassing) is certainly a great icebreaker when you’re just getting to know someone.
What dreams they have now. It’s definitely helpful to know what your date used to want, but what about their current goals? Where do they actually see themselves in ten years? These questions are actually important because they paint a picture of what you can realistically expect if things actually get serious.
Where they love to visit. Travel ideas can definitely make for great enjoyable conversation!
Their childhood. Learning what someone was like as a kid can actually give you a fairly good idea about how they were raised & the experiences they’ve been through. This is extremely important to know because it will definitely help you understand them better, easily offering the opportunity for better communications.
Where you grew up. Whether you bring it up first or as a last resort topic when you’ve unfortunately run out of things to say. Whether they’ve actually been there or not, it will give you something to talk about.
Where they grew up. Don’t just always talk about yourself—ask where they grew up as well!
The Top First Date Questions You Shouldn’t Ask
Let’s go over some things you definitely never talk about. Thankfully, these things won’t always be off the table (& we’ll let you know if they’re things to talk about when you first start dating). However, unless we specify otherwise, it’s probably best to always avoid these topics at the start!
How much you’re “DTF.” Unless you’re only planning on meeting up once, unfortunately, talking about anything too intimate is definitely a big no-no. You always want to make a great first impression, so talking extremely dirty from the get-go is sure to make the wrong impression (& possibly creep out your date). Definitely don’t include this on your list of things to talk about on the first date.
Marriage. This always comes off way too strong. Actually, bringing up marriage on a first date is a sure way to scare off any girl (& if she isn’t scared off, then you probably want to run!).
Politics. Just don’t mention these. If you’re wondering what to talk about on a coffee date, talk about something neutral, not something where people routinely fight over the topic.
Having children. This always comes off too strong. If she’s actually interested in having children, someday this will definitely come up in conversation at some point, but a first date certainly isn’t the time to plan your entire future.
Your history with other people. There are always things to discuss on a first date, but this certainly isn’t one of them. You literally just met this person! While it may become an extremely important conversation, later on, you definitely don’t want to come near this topic on your first date together.
Your ex. The only way you would possibly want to include this on your list of topics to talk about on a date with a girl is if you truly want to seem unattractive to your date.
Drama in school or at work. Dates are supposed to be relaxing, not extremely stressful. Don’t burden your date with meaningless drama right off the bat.
Personal secrets. Secrets are great, but they’re a little bit heavy for a first date. When just meeting someone, giving them extremely personal information is always a really bad idea. You have no way of telling if you can trust them, & you definitely have an extremely strong chance of scaring them off.
Religion. Unless you actually met on a dedicated religious dating site, this is one of those sensitive topics that you definitely don’t want to mention. Much like politics, it always gets people heated way too quickly.
Family issues. Drama-free is definitely the way to go. They literally just met you; they don’t want to know about all your family drama!
The Best Things to Say on a First Date
We’ve gone over all of the best things to discuss on a date, so hopefully, you’ve gotten an extremely clear idea of what to say (or not to say) when actually meeting someone for the first time. Remember, a first impression is everything, so always give yourself the best chance & save the (potentially) volatile conversations for later on. There are always many good things to talk about on a date, so just relax & get to know each other. The actual setting is only half of it; you create the ambiance!
As you continue to learn more about each other & go on more amazing dates, you might actually fall in love. If that’s the case, great! Definitely keep our helpful tips on things to say on a date in mind, because your love life actually depends on it! If not, don’t worry. Truly finding your soul mate always takes time. There’s absolutely no need to rush it. Most relationships take time, so always keep giving it 100% if you want your relationship to have the best chance at success.
If you’re a woman reading this & wondering if these tips still apply, don’t worry—they actually do! In general, the best things to talk about on a date for guys are usually the same things to say on a first date to a guy. In case you didn’t have the time (or didn’t feel like bothering) to read this entire article, here’s a quick summary of our first date conversation tips for guys.
Keep it light. You’re just meeting each other, so try to keep the conversation friendly & fun.
Don’t get too personal. It might work out; it might not. Never share anything on a first date that you wouldn’t want to be posted on social media.
Avoid gossip, politics, & religion. These are just arguments waiting to happen. Avoid them at all costs.