Get to Know about Dating Someone with Kids - Pros and Cons
Should You Try Dating Women with Kids?
Being with a woman who has a child can be a fulfilling experience, but it is not free of its own unique set of challenges. Tradition dating encourages two people to spend more time together to know one another and, in the process, build a special bond. You usually need to take the same steps when you engage in a relationship with a single mother.
Things can be more demanding, though, when children are involved in the picture, but you can always manage things better with some sensitivity and creativity.
You should never forget that the woman with a child still has a distinct personality with her feelings, worldviews, and desires. The presence of a child simply demands some adjustments, but when they manage it by making prudent decisions, everything works as smoothly as expected.
Sometimes, a woman cannot seem to deal with the "stigma" attached to being a single mother, and they make hasty actions to find a new partner. It can lead to all sorts of problems because they get into a new relationship when they are not mentally ready for it.
Comparing all the pros and cons of being in a relationship with someone with a child is one good way to decide if this relationship dynamic is suitable for a guy like you.
- One of the biggest benefits of dating a single mom is that she truly believes in committed relationships. It is usually true for both single mothers and single dads. Mostly, someone who returns to dating after divorce comes with changed value systems, and they know that going for a person with serious intentions is in their best interest.
- Another benefit is that you won't be pressed to have another child too soon. A single mom would be more willing to give your relationship more time before she decides to get pregnant again, and this works for both parties. You can decide to have a second child later and then enjoy watching them grow up in front of you.
- A single mom is usually going to love you more for loving her child. Similarly, if a man is in love with a woman, he is automatically going to be more loving and caring towards her child too.
- Dating someone with a child means she is an open book. They do not hide anything and are more eager to see if you are willing to accept them with all their shortcomings.
- Someone with kids has seen it all. The upside is that they would not idealize partners, giving the other person more time to make adjustments without feeling any pressure to turn it into the perfect relationship. Most divorces happen when a partner has unreal expectations, but that is not going to happen when dating a single mom.
- You will have to be more committed and often punctual. Dating a woman with kids means you just cannot afford to end all your meetings in a lovemaking session. Understand that a single mom has many things to handle – she cannot drink too much or return home later than expected.
- You may come second because her children will always be her priority. Her children require more attention. If you demand greater attention in your relationship, you are likely to face all sorts of trouble.
- No matter how meticulously you plan your date, things can go awry when children are in the equation. You may have to cancel your plans half an hour before you decide to move out. Single parents have to deal with the malaise, tantrums, and ordinary whims of their children. Know it and acknowledge it for a lasting partnership.
- You cannot expect your partner to be as spontaneous as a girl without kids. She might not be able to plan a long weekend trip at the drop of a hat. Leave it or be prepared to deal with it!
Is Dating a Girl with a Kid a Bad Idea?
Accepting a woman with a child is nothing new. You may be facing the same situation, and it is okay to be unsure of what to do. Should you take the plunge and enjoy your new relationship or look the other way and run? Well, there is no doubt about the fact that dating a girl with a child can be a great experience, but you are likely to face problems if you do not understand the following points:
- Understand the importance of knowing and respecting your limitations. If you do not know how to behave like an adult about the situation, you may be better off staying away from getting into a relationship in the first place. There will always be limitations to realize, like you just cannot chip in every time she or her children need something. You need to wait and ask before you act.
- Learn to promote open communication between you and your partner, and they will tell you when they need your help. Similarly, do not be afraid to highlight what makes you feel uncomfortable.
- It may not be a great idea to date a girl with a child if you have difficulty understanding the "other" parent's role in the equation. Your new dating partner might want to be in touch with the father of her child, and you will have to acknowledge that and be cool about it. There is no need to be best friends, but you may have to learn to be cordial at least. But, if all this sounds a bit too much and you cannot stand the thought of your partner being in touch with her ex, dating such a girl is not going to work for you.
Learn How to Date a Woman with a Child
Would you date a girl with kids? There is nothing to be afraid of, but even when you love her with all your heart, your relationship with the children involved will be the key. The sooner you understand that a woman with children will always have her priorities, the better.
That relationship won't last for very long if your level of independence and self-confidence is not secure. Also, she may have open communication with her ex, so you have to learn how to play along well. Here are a few important tips to remember when you are interested in dating a woman with children:
- Know about what she deems important in her life. Learn a bit about her daily activities and the way she manages her personal and professional life. Getting to know about how she spends whatever free time she gets is just as important. She may be following a routine because she is raising her children alone. Your entry can disrupt that balance. Therefore, you should know where you stand and how she intends to restrict everything. This way, you can learn to make this relationship interesting and full of gratitude.
- Do not make any hasty actions when it comes to knowing her kids. Going at a steady pace is in your best interest. Ask her questions and get an idea about the family dynamics before taking the next step. You also need to be clear about your intentions before you insist on meeting with children. Finding the right pace is crucial because it helps both of you to establish boundaries and build a bond.
- Stay away from giving any advice about how to bring up her children. Most men fail to realize that they do not have to decide for everyone involved in a relationship. Take a step back, relax, and give your new partner some space to handle her life independently. Offering any advice on how to raise her little ones could cost you a relationship, especially if you two have not been dating for long.
- Be open about your plans and intentions to help address any trust issues she might have. If your goal is simply to sleep with her, do not mislead her by promising her the moon. There is no need to pretend to be Prince Charming or someone you are not. Understand that not every single mom is willing to have a serious, long-term relationship. If you are only searching for casual dating, make it known.
Things to Know When Dating a Woman with a Child and Ex
It is natural for guys to seek dating someone with kids' advice, but they often forget to ask how to proceed when an ex is present in the situation. One of the biggest dating women with kids problems crops up from how close that woman is to her ex. Not every guy would be ready for such situations. But, remember that this relationship dynamic is probably not going to suit you if you are the type who gets jealous easily and does not seem to make peace with the fact that her ex is her kid's dad, and they are likely to be in contact for long.
Here are a few things to bear in mind when you are contemplating dating someone with a child and ex:
- Avoid discussing her ex because you will have a hard time getting out of that maze. Of course, it will be tricky to avoid such conversations altogether, but know your boundaries and do not offer unnecessary feedback. Keeping a poker face usually helps tackle these situations. Be ready to nod more often to show you are listening. And always try to change the topic gradually. Your goal should be to find ways to keep the "ghost" of the ex-spouse from appearing on your date nights. If you can achieve that seamlessly, your relationship will become a pleasant one.
- Do not jump into unwanted situations, especially when an ex is involved. Let her take care of it unless she explicitly asks for your help. No matter how tempting it feels to take sides, you will be better off staying out of it.
- Never keep away from showing her gratitude. The more you express your feelings and bluntly state how much you love her company, the higher the chances of forgetting about her ex completely.
Statistics show that there are more than 10 million single moms in the US, so the odds are in your favor. The availability of dating sites has further cut the distance between you and your potential partner. However, you need to understand that dating a girl with two kids or even one will come with many challenges, but there is nothing you cannot handle with a little creativity, compassion, and love. Do not make assumptions about her needs or what she wants out of a relationship, as it will only leave a dent in your partnership. Instead, have respectful conversations and always keep an open line of communication for short-term and long-term benefits. If you love her, say it, and you both will certainly be able to find a way to move ahead together.