Crush on Coworker Advice
Remain a true professional.
Okay, so you have feelings for her and want to express your affection and feelings to her in all possible ways. Wait! Remember, you are working as colleagues in a professional workspace. There is a certain etiquette that needs to be always maintained, and you cannot allow your personal feelings to mar your judgment or reputation. The day you allow your feelings to dominate rationality in a professional environment, it could mean the end of your job and get terminated for unprofessional conduct. Is it worth losing a well-paying job just because cupid has struck? Not at all!
Avoid being misled.
It is a hard but a bitter fact of life that people in this world are excellent at manipulating people who are emotionally insecure or exhibit too much emotion. Showing that you are head over heels in love with a woman may only give her an incentive to exploit your feelings in numerous ways. If your crush does not reciprocate your feelings in the same manner, there is always the risk of her taking advantage of your emotions. This could be financially in the form of expensive gifts to dining and shopping or even may be done professionally by making your bend the rules to accommodate and please them.
Do not make it obvious.
Working in an office or organization with other employees in proximity increases the risk of your office crush being discovered. It is best to keep a lid on your emotions and a check on your actions around your crush. Any frequently hidden glances in her direction or staring at her lovingly when she speaks will make things quickly obvious to all around. Apart from becoming the target of unpleasant jokes around the office, it could lead to idle tongues wagging that could be detrimental for your job. Being in love is perfectly fine, but do not hang your heart on your sleeve!
A critical self-analysis is essential when you fall in love with someone that you are professionally associated with. First, be aware of the office policies about workplace romance. Is it expressly forbidden with strict action taken by the company against employees that violate the policy? Are you willing to risk your job for just a silly crush or a fling? Do you want to be in a long-term relationship with her, or is it just a passing fancy? Does she feel the same way about you, or are you just mistaking her amiable nature as love? Any misstep could tarnish our professional reputation, so you need to think long and hard before deciding to play Romeo! You must be practical and sensible in your thought process and not be led by your feelings.
Always maintain your composure.
Always treat her with respect and professionally in your interactions. Let’s face it; behaving in an immature and childish way will not help you score brownie points with her or the office manager. Okay, cupid might have struck, but you need to behave like an grown-up. Do not get all mushy around her or give her extra attention as that will only draw other colleagues' attention. You need to maintain your composure and remain steady and calm no matter what the situation. It will earn you her respect and that of your colleagues, which is very important in a professional working environment.
Do not let it affect your professionalism.
While this is not always the case being in a relationship with someone can affect some people’s professional behavior within the office. That is one reason why many companies do not employ both spouses in the same organization or office. It could lead to a bias in favor of the person you have a crush on. This could lead to situations where she is given leeway in certain situations over other employees. This would not only be unethical but also could invite legal repercussions in bad situations. It could manifest itself in various ways, from feeling jealous when you see her interact with other members of the opposite sex to losing concentration in your professional duties.
Signs Your Coworker Has Feelings for You
Whether a male or female coworker has a crush on you, there are certain telltale signs to keep an eye out for. These are for a male coworker...
Got eyes only for you.
No prizes for guessing this is the most obvious sign! If he has feelings for you, he will keep looking at you whenever he gets an opportunity constantly. He will make regular eye-contact and look-into your eyes when he has a conversation with you. Sometimes he will give furtive glances in your direction even when other employees are around during a meeting or in other situations. He is so focused on you and seems to have only eyes for you is a very clear indicator that he has a romantic interest in you. However, it could be just because of physical attraction, so do not assume he wants a long-term relationship!
Find ways to be in your presence.
Another classic technique that most men use when they have a crush on a colleague is trying to find innovative ways to be in the woman's presence; they like. You will be surprised at the number of times you may bump into him at the cafeteria or in places you frequent. If you decide to take a coffee break you might find them uncannily arriving to do the same. When you are chatting with friends, he might suddenly join the conversation while finding ways to chat with you. Once or twice, maybe a coincidence, but meeting the same person at different places regularly is not.
Ever ready to help.
Have you found any colleague who is always ready to lending you a helping hand even if he must go way out of his way to do so? From helping you at work, to be willing to drive you home if your car is in for repairs. He is ever ready to provide any type of assistance you need can indicate he has a crush on you.
For a female coworker:
Interested in your routine.
When you’ll meet up in the office, she turns the conversation towards your routine and what you are up to in the evenings or on weekends. She wants to know how you spend time after work hours. This could be a way of her trying to check out if you are involved in a steady relationship or are single and available. Women are much more subtle than men when trying to find out the relationship status of men. While a man might even directly ask if a woman is in a relationship, women do it in a well-disguised manner.
Talk about personal issues and family.
When we are working in a professional environment, mostly the conversation shared among colleagues is work-related. While some colleagues may develop a rapport with and form friendships with, it generally takes quite some time. If a woman colleague begins to discuss personal issues or matters related to her family, she is possibly looking for more than a friendship. While you cannot jump the gun and expect it to be 100% there are chances of her having a romantic interest in you. You will need to do your homework to confirm if she just wants to be good friends or something more with you. She could also get inquisitive and ask about your family and friends, which would be a good indicator of her feelings.
Takes time to meet in the office.
If she pops into your work area frequently without any work-related queries, she could be having a crush on you. If she is generally friendly and outgoing and pops in to say hello to all around it could just be social. However, if she goes out of her way to chat with you or singles you out to exchange greetings and talk, there is something more going on in her mind.
What to Do When You Like Someone at Work
Know your boundaries.
Workplace romances and crushes are perfectly fine if you do not cross any unspoken limits. The workplace is meant to serve that specific purpose so ensure you follow it to the letter. Just be your usual self with your crush, friendly but courteous and professional always. Do not let poor judgment make you appear unprofessional in any situation.
Know about HR policy.
It is highly recommended to learn about the company policy towards office romances. While some companies are flexible about it, others may have more stringent guidelines to follow. Read up and make sure you are not caught unawares if your romantic liaison comes to the management's attention. This will ensure that your professional reputation stays intact as well.
Try to avoid dating someone in a senior position.
This one is quite tricky as you never really know when you fall for someone irrespective of their professional standing. However, try to control your emotions and feelings and try not to develop a crush on your manager or boss. This could complicate matters if your relationship goes south at a later stage. It could have them retaliate professionally when the relationship sours. So be well aware of the risks before contemplating to get involved with someone that is professionally higher-up than you in the company.
Handle the relationship like grown-up.
When in a relationship, behave like matures. If it is smooth sailing or in choppy waters, let us affect the professional side of things. Be rational, and do not let emotions cloud your work-related decisions. Even if you break up, let it not impact your professional relationship like colleagues.
Work Crush Advice
Keep the relationship out of the office.
If you are romantically involved with a colleague, keep your romance out of the office building! At work, you are just colleagues and stick to that as a personal policy. No need to try and play Romeo and Juliet as this is meant strictly for the privacy of your home or out of office hours. Work means work and nothing else!
Stay out of the limelight.
This is more important if you have a strict no romance work policy at your office. Do not draw your colleagues' attention or managers by exhibiting irresponsible behavior with or towards your crush. Do not your relationship become office gossip, so keep your romance out of the limelight.
Take things slowly.
Once you develop a crush on your colleague in the office, take things slow and steady. The first thing is to determine if she feels the same way about you or wants to be friends. You could jeopardize the relationship at the onset if you jump the gun and incorrectly assume she feels the same way. Do not try to force the relationship and let things happen naturally instead.
Finally, having a crush on a coworker is not unreasonable or uncommon. However, it needs to weigh the pros and the cons before going ahead with the relationship or attempting to get into one.